Do I Hear What You Hear?

I often wonder why I have a severe hearing loss? I know why I have poor hearing--a severe case of childhood red measles and a family history of hearing loss--but I'm looking for a more cosmic rationale. Because of the hearing loss, I'm very visually oriented and I listen very carefully and attentively. Consequently, I make friends easily. I am excellent lip reader and the uninitiated often don't realize my hearing loss, or the extent of it, until I disclose it.

I do envy those who can be casual about listening or engage in multi-activities while listening--for instance, doing homework and also listening to the radio. If I were attentive enough, I might hear a little of radio, but I'd have to give it my full, 100 percent, undivided attention even to understand even a little of it. And, strange as it may seem, I do have a wonderful sense of rhythm and I love to move and dance. Though I rarely understand the words, I certainly hear the music and it warms my soul and has a very calming effect.

Hearing and listening are two entirely different activities. I remember when I first heard my own footsteps. Because she could not find parking nearby, my mother dropped me off at the hearing aid dispenser to get my very first hearing aid. It was a charitable gift that I received when I was 12 years old. I got the hearing aid, learned how to turn it off and on and how to insert the battery and was on my way. As I made my way down the long tiled hallway, which was rather dark and on one of the upper floors of the building, I heard footsteps. I turned to see who was sharing the hallway with me. No one was there. I began walking a little faster this time as I was a little fearful because I was all alone and in a building where I had never been before and began to walk a little faster, not quite running, but very close. The footsteps behind me were faster too and I thought getting closer. Again, I turned quickly to see my pursuer. Again no one there. As I walked and stopped, walked and stopped, I finally realized that I was hearing my own footsteps. It is something that hearing people take for granted, I suppose. When I left the building and went outside to look for my mother... Oh, my gawd, what a racket!!! Cars whoosed by, birds tweeted and sang, the wind whistled, and all the world was making some kind of noise.

For hearing-challenged people like me, all that noise is exhausting, because it is necessary to screen out what other people probably never hear anyway. Sometimes, when I feel overwhelmed or especially tired, I still look forward to removing me hearing aids and just resting in peaceful, quiet, silence.

Linda's Lines

Just thought a blog might be fun. Who knows...perhaps it will just help me think about my life and sleep better. Anyway, this blog will not be particularly polished, just random thoughts, maybe some poems, maybe a little wistfulness, a little wildness, a little wavering, a little wailing (metaphorically speaking), or perhaps a little whining since I DO love my soapbox. Anyway a catharsis for life in the twenty-first century, at least that's the plan.

Today was a wonderful spring day for the Midwest, unusually sunny and warm but unfortunately, I spent it working while wishing I were outside. Darn! [The w's seem to be taking over this post--it is entirely unintentional--and if you believe that....] Work is good, however, as I've been more or less unemployed, underemployed, or barely employed for the past 7 years. Yep! I have that 7-year itch for sure. My "profession" is editorial work--writing, editing, proofreading, or whatever else you like to call it. But my game is reading, so expect to read a lot about reading on this blog.